"Hello? Guys? Does anyone know what I'm doing at this internship?"
Just when Dan and Blair start to explore the idea that they might be able to tolerate each other socially, the two end up interning together at W Magazine this week on Gossip Girl. While Blair seems a perfect fit for the fashion Mecca, Dan’s appearance reeks of nepotism (thanks Lily). This is what happens when you miss every interview opportunity to wait on Serena hand and foot. In between stuffing gift bags and printing out the guest list for a big shindig (so far this doesn’t seem like such a bad internship), Blair and Dan devise a plan to win total domination at W. When an author drops out at the last minute to launch W’s latest blog venture, Blair and Dan decide to invite prestigious wordsmiths of their own to impress the powers that be. Whichever one wins the editor’s approval gets to stay on at the magazine. Convinced Blair will use her cunning and wiles to disavow the lowly Brooklynite, Dan sabotages Blair’s guest. The offense finds the two sprawled across the party floor with flailing elbows and fists. Both are promptly fired. Dan makes amends after learning of Blair’s devotion to the internship and takes the blame for the whole fiasco. Meanwhile, Serena continues to befriend…er stalk Ben as Eric turns to drugs and Damien in his inconsolable loneliness. Here are some other thoughts:
Most naïve: Serena seems surprised about Ben shacking up in a halfway house. Where does she think ex-cons go after prison? Not everyone can reserve a suite at the Empire after incarceration.
Completely clueless: Serena can’t seem to let the idea seep into her skull that Ben just doesn’t want a relationship with her. It must be hard to come to terms with since every man on the face of the planet wants a chance to get close to Serena and her boobs. Instead of seeing the signs and realizing that Ben and Juliet tried to kill her, Serena chases after Ben like a sick school girl. Again.
Biggest pout: Eric needs to grow up. He gets dumped and because he can’t turn to his family, he turns to drugs to cope. Did he ever try going to Rufus to talk? Maybe he should lose the chip off his shoulder when it comes to Lily. Eric can’t stand the sight of Chuck because he slept with Jenny, but he’s willing to accept Damien – the guy who turned Jenny into a drug mule?
Best drinking game: Take a drink every time Lily pays someone off. Eric could make a fortune off of this idea.
Continue reading after the jump to find out the name of the episode's mind-blowing song.
Best song: Everest’s “Let Go.” The tune is so indelible it was hard to focus on the dialogue.
Most misguided: Lily really does believe she’s trying to help her family and she has the money to get what she wants. Is it reprehensible to send Ben off packing with $30,000 or is it smart thinking? Here’s an older man who had a borderline inappropriate relationship with Serena, convinced his sister to exact near-lethal revenge on her and had seven years of doing hard time under his belt. Would you want him hanging around your daughter?
Biggest traitor: Nate’s dad agrees to work for Chuck’s nemesis. Never mind that Chuck is Nate’s best friend and Chuck is putting a roof over the Captain’s head.
Biggest head-scratcher: Chuck sleeping with Thorpe’s daughter. Is Chuck really interested in the girl or is this some kind of ploy to save Bass Industries? With Chuck, one can never tell.
Lily continues to make choices that pit her against her entire family and her actions seem to have the reverse effect. Instead of taking the money and running, Ben decides to ensure Eric and Serena’s safety from Damien. We’re pretty sure threatening another person is a parole violation. Rufus gives a good pep talk, but he would rather sit idly by and let Lily wear the pants in the family. What did you think?
90210 interview: Michael Steger on wigs, the back nine of 90210 and getting staked
Everyone has a friend like 90210's Navid: That book-smart person that seems to make social and common-sense snafus, much to the enjoyment or consternation of their pals. Fortunately, we're not Teddy, Dixon or Ade, so we can sit back an indulge in the former emotion.
We chatted with Michael Steger about what the spring semester holds for Navid, including the overhaul of his pornographer dad's business, the coming out of a close friend and an extracurricular activity that Michael undertook with HBO.
Navid has been getting himself into a compromising situation with the two women in his life, Silver and Adrianna. How long can we expect to see him drag his feet in breaking up with Ade for good, or will things change with Ade's career troubles?
He wants to break up with Ade, but he's still at that reluctant stage because of the fear of Ade going back to drugs or just bottling further and further down more than she has. He's just trying to maintain their friendship and he doesn't want to hurt her. There does come a point when he says "Ade, we're finally done."
Silver has been a little reluctant to hurt her friend too. Will she be on board with the relationship when that day comes?
Silver's not necessarily on board right away. Silver is a very loyal friend to Ade and she'll need some convincing.
We saw Navid kind of put his foot in his mouth in front of Teddy last week regarding Teddy's sexuality. Will Navid eventually have a supporting role in helping his friend come out?
Oh, Navid. (Laughs) He really did put his foot in his mouth. He will definitely play a supporting role with Teddy when he does come out. He never expected Teddy to be gay, it comes as a surprise. Like, oh, wow, this is something new. Mr. All-Star Athlete and womanizer, he turns out to be gay. But Navid understands that Teddy is still a great guy, and he eventually comes out of the closet and Navid is very supportive. I can't say too much about the upcoming episodes, but there is a time in a future episode where the guys go to a gay bar.
Sounds interesting.
Oh yeah.
Read on for more about Navid's family troubles, the joy of Twitpics and Nelly.
There was a lot of speculation a few months ago about which character would be coming out. Did the cast know who it would be?
I knew it wasn't me, and it was funny because we were very confused for a long time. The press kept asking me, "If Navid was gay, who would he date?" They came up with a lot of creative questions, but we didn't know which character it would be yet. The writers are really good about not telling us what's going to happen. But it seemed like everyone was very supportive of the story.
Before the winter break, Navid was having a lot of trouble at home with his father before he left the country. Can we expect his father to return or there to be significant changes to Navid's home life?
There's going to be a lot of adjusting for Navid. He's having to deal with his father's business, he has to keep the doors open, he can't just sell the business. He has to pay the bills and keep everything together. He re-vamps the whole business and turns it into a production company. He gets good advice from Dixon, and they decide to produce music videos. It's really impressive actually, how he balances work and a social life and school and applying to colleges.
You personally worked on a music video for The Killers. Did you get to relate any of that experience to Navid's in the re-vamped production company?
I totally get what it's like to shoot a music video. Navid's starting off doing pick-up shots. It takes a lot of work and it's very stressful.
I've read that Snoop Dogg and Nelly will be heading to the '90210' set and your character will be involved in a video shoot for one of the artists. Will they be clients at Navid's company?
It's his first job to do a pick-up shot for Nelly. He's working with a producer that doesn't like Navid or Dixon and it seems like things aren't going well, but they pull it off. They're just high school kids and they're in way over their heads, but they somehow end up doing a really good job in an unexpected way. And working with Nelly was great.
I also saw a featuring some wigs. Does that have anything to do with the video?
What happened was Matt, Tristan and I were on set all day and there was waaaayyy too much free time. The makeup department was a little bored and we were just having some fun. But it was all Matt, he's the instigator.
Well, blond looks good on you.
(Laughs) Thanks!
Getting back to Navid's father, the show dealt with the very serious issue of child pornography. Have you or anyone else on '90210' seen a response from activist groups
or anyone concerned with the issue?
Not that I know of. I did a lot of research on it and it is a serious issue, especially in California. We just knew coming into it that it would be controversial and I know some people were shocked.
Getting outside of '90210,' you also had a role on 'True Blood' with vampire king Russell. What was it like working on such a different, and I'd definitely say raunchier show?
It was exciting. I went in for the audition and was immediately thrilled to be working with the writers and producers, and working with Dennis O'Hare was the icing on the cake.
I didn't see the end of that episode, but someone gets staked. Was it you or Dennis O'Hare?
It was me. Russell never saw his lover of 700 years die and he wanted to be there to experience it. My character resembled his lover, so he used me to experience what his death would have been like. So, yeah, it was a little twisted.
For some reason, we're having trouble with our audio files on browsers other than Internet Explorer. You get the regular media player in IE, but Firefox and Safari both ask you to download a file. We're working with our podcast host to figure out the problem. In the meantime, you can get the podcast via iTunes, or listen using IE. Sorry!
Plague has stricken us in Chicago -- Janine was so sick that she passed out while trying to write her recap, so we sent her to bed -- but we managed to crawl out of our respective sickbeds (ok, sickdesks) to podcast the return of Gossip Girl. The fun part: Janine gets even more entertainingly emphatic when she's mainlining cough drops!
We take on Dan's stupidity (why did he need to wait for Serena to go to his internship interview?), Blair's ambitions (I think fashion-mag editrix is thinking too small -- she's supposed to go for world domination!), Serena's... Serenaness (what, she just wandered up to a prison in the middle of the night and invited a guy out for coffee?), Lily's duplicity, Chuck's bad decisions, and the arrival of African Americans on the Upper East Side -- imported from Chicago, of course, because there are no black people actually living in New York. Plus, our worries about a potential Dan/Blair hookup -- don't do it, show!
One Tree Hill Podcast: "The Drinks We Drank Last Night
For some reason, we're having trouble with our audio files on browsers other than Internet Explorer. You get the regular media player in IE, but Firefox and Safari both ask you to download a file. We're working with our podcast host to figure out the problem. In the meantime, you can get the podcast via iTunes, or listen using IE. Sorry!
The ladies of One Tree Hill get their very own version of "The Hangover," and Darcel and I definitely approve. Granted, a shirtless Dave Navarro helped, but that was just hunky icing on the cake of over-the-top bad behavior that went from tongue peircing to water-condom fights. We discuss the alarming frequency that reasonably big stars show up on this show, wonder how Dogust got saddled with such a grumpy owner, and debate wedding decor, all while wondering how ANYONE could drink out of a boot, no matter how drunk they were.
Update: To clarify, as far as we know right now, the NEW episodes of Smallville and Supernatural will air Feb. 4 assuming Gossip Girl isn't pushed back 10 minutes in Poughkeepsie or something. RERUNS of the mid-season finales will air on Wednesday, Feb. 2, in theory to draw in new viewers. Or something. Look, we're having a hard time coming up with a bright side. Sigh. If we hear anything else from the network, we'll let you know.
OK, folks, keep this in mind: We're just the messenger.
You know how you were supposed to be able to turn on your TV and see the long-awaited return of Smallville and Supernatural tonight? Yeah, it's not happening. See, the network apparently got spooked that The Vampire Diaries and Nikita were preempted in some markets last night, and wanted to give these shows another chance to draw in viewers so they'd count on this week's ratings.
The good news: Smallville and Supernatural will get to strut their stuff next Wednesday with their pre-hiatus eps -- all the better to suck in viewers who don't realize what they're missing. And when they finally return next week, it'll be all that much more triumphant, right? Right?
In the meantime, please don't take your displeasure out on The Vampire Diaries and Nikita. They're both great shows, and they didn't ask to bump our dynamic duo.
We want to see Chloe return (as a possible traitor!) and the newly-resouled Sam as much as you do. Trust us -- we're hurting, too. Feel free to vent your displeasure about the decision here. Let it all out. You'll feel better. (But keep the profanity to a minimum, ok?)
Smallville: Erica Durance on Lois' evolution, alter-egos and telling Superman what to do
Lois Lane has been though a lot on Smallville -- she's been duped, deceived, knocked unconscious more times than we can count, thrown into alternate universes...and most important, she's finally found out Clark's big secret. We caught up with Erica Durance at a panel celebrating the kick-ass women of The CW, and got her to spill on what's coming up at the tenth and final season draws to a close. Check it out!
Nikita recap: Free as a bird...with a tracking device
"Manolos with a switchblade in the heel? Michael, you shouldn't have!"
Party on! Our girls are back and ready for action on Nikita. From now on, Team Nikita and Alex, or Team Nalex for short, will be doing their dirty work on the outside. Former recruit, Alex, has hit the big time. She is officially a Division agent complete with a new car, fabulous wardrobe, and her own spacious apartment. How wonderful? Well, not quite. There is one small snag in this blissful, happy picture. Division has implanted a tracking chip at the base of her skull. Now Big Brother can follow her every move including any stopovers at her hot, new neighbor’s apartment. Don’t worry, though: Nikita is one quick thinker and comes up with a plan to throw Division off her trail and into a frenzy. She even finds a little time for some quick lip-locking with a dalliance from the past.
Chipping Away
After Michael drops off Alex at her new place, she wastes no time settling in. She heads to the store for a few knickknacks and lo and behold, who does she run into? Why, it’s Nikita, who was also out picking up a few things. What a coincidence. Okay, it was planned. This joyful reunion is short-lived after Nikita realizes that Alex’s tracking chip is also a “kill chip.” This means that Division can take her out simply with the press of a button. Being the cool cat that she is, Nikita keeps her fears to herself, but tells Alex that they need to gain control of the chip. To do this, Nikita devises a plan that will send Alex back inside while simultaneously luring Division out.
Nabbing the Nerd
To get the job done, Nikita has to cash in on a past favor. She meets up with CIA agent Ryan Fletcher, whose life she had previously saved, and advises him that it’s payback time. She wants him to haul in Division’s top techie, Berkoff, for a little one on one chat. Reluctantly, Fletcher agrees and in no time Berkoff is nabbed, grabbed and sitting in a CIA interrogation room. Nikita then has Fletcher go in and try to get Berkoff to reveal his password. If she can get access to Division’s computers, she can reroute Alex’s tracking device. Berkoff, unfortunately, turns out to be a tough nut so Nikita decides to do the cracking herself even if it means revealing her alliance with Fletcher. Before long, Berkoff falls right into her trap and tries to break into the room’s Blue-Ray machine. As he does this, Nikita monitors him and is able to get his secret password. Then, she sends an S.O.S. email from Berkoff to Division headquarters. Michael gets the email and takes off to help his co-worker in distress.
While Nikita is stirring things up on her end, Alex is also keeping busy. Her part is a little simpler. All she needs to do is to sneak into Division headquarters, insert a disc containing a virus into the computer, wait for it to load, and then hit the road. Everything goes smoothly except that she has a brief run-in with Ms. Inquisitor herself, Amanda. Luckily, Amanda only wants to give Alex a stern warning that all her moves are bring watched, including visits to house parties at Nathan the neighbor’s house.
Wrapping It Up
By the time Michael shows up, Nikita has finished her hacking but is still in the office. To distract Michael, Fletcher calls security so Nikita can try to escape. Unfortunately, the security guys stop her and both she and Michael end up having to do some serious butt-kicking. Our girl is able to get away, but Michael is stopped in his tracks with guns pointed at his back.
With everything in place and Alex’s chip rerouted, the girls start to relax a bit. Nikita meets Fletcher for a drink and Alex gleefully skips off to meet Nathan at a club. But Nikita’s get-together with Fletcher reveals a few surprises. After she learns that he has been demoted, she reassures him that life will get better. She tells him that she plans to make him a “hero” and even seals the deal with a peck on the mouth. Wait…What? Does this mean our girl will be making plans for Valentine’s Day? Guess, we'll have to wait and see.
The Vampire Diaries: Gloom, doom, and personal growth
"Look, there can only be so many hot people on this show. Otherwise, the universe will explode. So beat it until I kill a few more off."
Ah, at last the drought of new The Vampire Diaries episodes is ovah! We return to Mystic Falls the morning after the last 2010 episode to find that Tyler even made it to school the next morning! Looking well refreshed, we might add. Surprising given his first transformation into a werewolf took a good part of the night before and sure looked exhausting. And dirty.
Speaking of weres, lets discuss our newest resident, Jules. We need more info about her, but she sort of seems to us like she's the Damon of weres. She's efficient, has nary a quandary about killing people, and has an irrational hatred of paranormals who are not of her ilk. Her lines are not as snappy as Damon's though, and she's not in love with Elena. Maybe they're not so alike after all. We don't like hearing that there's more of them coming to town, presumably to take revenge on the Mystic Falls vamps.
The main theme of this week is Rose. Poor Rose. Apparently a werewolf bite does in fact kill a vampire, but not nice and quickly like a vampire bite would. It's a long drawn out process with open oozing sores, unbearable pain, dementia, and a heavy thirst for killing. Rose compared her symptoms to having a cold. She must not be familiar with the phrase, feed a fever, starve a cold. 'Cause she got real hungry. Or was that thirsty. Hm, maybe the analogy doesn't stand up as well as we would like.
We were actually being a little misleading when we said that the episode was about Rose. It's prolly more accurate to say it was about Damon's emotional journey -- caring for someone whose fate was beyond his control and feeling human, wanting to be human, wanting to be the man that would deserve Elena, and his struggle with it. It's like half of the college papers we wrote, with the theme of "Man's struggle with Nature". Yes, even we thought we were insufferable during those years, too.
We were so touched that Damon created a lovely dream world for Rose as she lay dying. It was nice to dress her up in renaissance faire attire on a hillside so she could have her Sound of Music moment before the curtain fell when he staked her. We did wonder about the mess that would make on his nice bed though. (P.S. Can we please have his room and his bathroom, please? Is Stefan's room in the servants quarters???) He's got a good heart in there, but apparently the cyclical nature of his character means we're going to get a few doses of evil cranky Damon for a little while.
Caroline's gonna be in trouble next week with Tyler. We're guessing he didn't like hearing that she hadn't been honest about the other vamps in town. Tyler, be gentle. She really is your friend, though we doubt she and Jules are going to be BFF.
The ep wrapped up with the reappearance of the repugnant Uncle John (aka Dad). Ruh-roh.
Nikita: Maggie Q talks about kicking ass...obviously
We love our complicated characters, but we love the actors who play them even more, which is why it's always interesting to get their take on things.
We sat down with Maggie Q to talk about why Nikita kicks so much ass, why Amanda kind of makes some good points, and how grief can work as a sleep-aid.
The Vampire Diaries: Nina Dobrev on doing double duty
Most actors get to talk about their role in a film or a show and how they relate to that character. Nina Dobrev gets to talk about two.
Watch the interview below as Dobrev discusses playing both Elena and Katherine on The Vampire Diaries, developing multiple personalities of her own and the importance of being selfish.
If you thought being a Division trainee on Nikita was hard, you're clearly not acquainted with life on the outside as a full agent. Lyndsy Fonseca, who plays Alex on Nikita, is diving head first into those challenges.
Watch the video below as Lyndsy talks about Alex's new life in the real world, shooting those tricky fight scenes and the evolving relationship between her character and Michael.
One Tree Hill meets The Hangover, and Dave Navarro
Dave Navarro wonders what he's doing here, too.
Dave Navarro was on One Tree Hill this week. We know, he fulfilled the Obligatory Celebrity Cameo in the show's Hangover storyline, but still -- how does this show keep getting big music stars, and why does no one seem to notice? The press is all over Glee (which we love) for its ability to pull big guest stars, and meanwhile, this little show that no one seems to notice gets Dave Navarro in a water-condom fight and we hear bupkis. How does this keep happening? Who does Mark Schwahn have compromising pictures of? Or are a surprising number of rock stars closet CW fans?
ANYway. The show. It's the morning after Brooke's bachelorette party, and things are rough. Brooke loses her engagement ring, Quinn gets a tongue piercing, Millie suddenly has a tattoo, Alex has a black eye and Sylvia is sporting a rocker t-shirt. What happened?
Stop 1: The spa suite
The night started off innocently enough, with hunky men giving massages and dispensing green smoothies at a spa suite. But those foul-looking energy drinks are apparently a recipe for disaster when mixed with booze. Oops.
Read on for more hangover-inspired hijinks after the break!
Stop 2: The bull-riding bar
Somehow, the fivesome wandered over to a Jane's Addiction concert and kidnapped Dave Navarro. Then they go to a country-western bar with a mechanical bull and a horrific drink called "The Boot": "15 types of alcohol mixed in a real cowboy boot." Ew. Millie apparently bested the boot, and to celebrate, they ended up at ...
Stop 3: The tattoo parlor
Millie gets a tramp stamp of a pair of boots to commemorate her victory over footwear, and Alex convinces Quinn to let her pierce her tongue. Ack! Dave Navarro apparently also gets a commemorative tat, but we just see the picture, not the tattooing itself. Oh, and one of Millie's "brothers" got a tat, too, which leads to...
Stop 4: The college campus
Apparently the girls made friends with a bunch of frat boys, who took the party back to their house. This happens to be on the campus where Nate is getting his business degree, and the hated professor August Kellerman lives nearby. So the girls TP his house, throw eggs, and kidnap Dogust Kellerman, the nasty prof's skateboard-riding bulldog.
Also, they're now driving an ice cream truck.
Stop 5: The wings joint
The group ends up at a restaurant that specializes in hot wings, and Sylvia makes her mark by defeating the reigning wing-eating champion (a fireman) and ending up on the "Wall of Flame." Brooke busied herself with "making out with some guy," according to the waitress. She's shocked.
Stop 6: Clothes Over Bros
But that's nothing compared to what she discovers at Clothes Over Bros: A half-naked Dave Navarro. He takes back the shirt Sylvia stole, then thanks Brooke for a wild time: "Oh, Brooke, by the way, you were amazing. I can't remember the last time I busted through that many condoms in one night."
After a freak-out, Brooke discovers that the condoms were used for a water-balloon fight on the roof, during which Dave Navarro nailed Alex in the face, which gave her the black eye. Brooke and Sylvia simultaneously remember that that wasn't the only blood spilled: They had a vicious fight in which Sylvia called Brooke selfish and called out her inability to have children, and Brooke called Sylvia smothering and called out her drinking. Awkward!
The aftermath
Brooke goes home to confess her sins to Julian, who reveals that he was the guy she was making out with in the restaurant, and he held onto her engagement ring for safe keeping. Also, he spent much of his bachelor-party time decorating the church just like Brooke described in her wedding book. Sylvia helped, and paid for it all. "You did all this for me?" Brooke asks. "I did this for the girl my son loves," Sylvia replies. And just like that, they've made up.
Sylvia also dispenses some words of wisdom re: friends growing apart and appreciating the people who are actually there for you. Because to no one's surprise, Peyton won't be at the wedding. At this point, we almost wish that Leyton had gone into witness protection -- it's the only reason we can think of for them missing everything that's happened. Brooke asks Haley to be her Matron of Honor, since she's actually there, and we prepare for the wedding next week.
Highlights, thoughts and odds and ends
Dave Navarro says this is the best night ever. Does the show really expect us to believe that? The man has gotten awards for directing porn. Somehow we don't think water balloon fights, even those using condoms, can compare.
Sharon Lawrence does recovering-from-a-bender well. We loved her drinking directly from the sink.
We wish we could look that good after a massive bender. Two glasses of wine (or whatever we consume while recapping) and we look like we've been dead for six months.
When Haley discovers the receipt from the tattoo parlor (do tattoo parlors give receipts?) the girls all start checking themselves for tats in all the usual places. "It's like an x-rated version of 'Where's Waldo,'" Haley quips.
And about Haley -- the show cleverly sends her home to help Nathan study. As she's preggers, she wouldn't have been drinking, and therefore she would have remembered everything -- and probably stopped some of it from happening.
Dave Navarro wrote his phone number on Brooke's leg with chocolate. See, that sounds like something he'd do...
Poor Millie, who spent half of the episode trying to figure out why everyone was calling her Boots. And why would she get a cowboy-boots tramp stamp? "Because that tattoo kicks ass!" Haley says. Heh.
Sylvia: "Has everyone dated this Lucas character?"
Putative reason Leyton is skipping the wedding: Baby Sawyer is sick. Unless she's in the hospital, we don't understand why one of them can't make it...
Nathan's prof continues to be a schmuck. We can't imagine why he'd have such a cool dog.
"Of course someone else's boyfriend wanted to make out with me. LOOK AT ME."
Everybody hates Marti after she tramped out and kissed Dan and betrayed her roommate and BFF, Savannah, the nicest girl on this side of the Mississippi. So when the Lancer Hellcats hop the bus to sectionals nobody talks to Miz Perkins for the entire seven hour ride—which is as it should be.
Check the personal drama at the door
Looks like Memphis Christian is the team to beat with a score of 98.1. Just the winning team moves on to Nationals, so the Hellcats have to pull off the performance of a lifetime—no mistakes. They’ll need to put all their personal issues aside. But we don’t really see that happening, especially when Alice’s dad (the surprisingly well-preserved veteran actor Mario Van Peebles) arrives in a surprise visit. Apparently Alice’s brother is playing a football game nearby, plus he’s all excited to see his baby Alice fly. Guess Alice hasn’t informed her father about her new non-flying, just-cheer-in-the-back position on the squad.
Papa Peebles in the house
Dad brings his fiancée, Kelly for the big surprise. Fiancée? Clearly this family doesn’t talk much. Dad’s big with the bragging and can’t wait to see his daughter “fly 25 feet in the air”. He also thinks that Lewis is still his daughter’s boyfriend. It’s a miracle the man even knows Alice’s name. But fear not, it’s not all his bad fathering, she’s been telling him that she’s the Hellcats top flyer for months and she doesn’t want to disappoint him.
Meanwhile, speaking of conjugal visits…
For some reason Morgan thinks he’s going to get lucky with a goth girl so he decides to bail on visiting Travis at the gray bar. Besides, Travis would rather see Marti. But Mrs. Wanda Perkins learns of this and decides that if Travis wants a hot blond with a guitar, that’s what he’s going to get. So Wanda pays a visit and brings music and oatmeal cookies…no razors. Naturally, they click. He’s a bad boy and Wanda likes her some bad boys. Marti isn’t going to be happy about this turn of events. But who cares? No one likes her anyway.
Alice antics
As the alternate flyer, Alice convinces Savannah that she needs to run through the routine. What if something happens and she has to step in? She should be prepared. She nails the routine and some of the cheer squad speaks up (we learn later that Alice had bribed them), saying that perhaps since Alice has more experience she should be the core flyer for such an important gig. So Alice is in and Marti’s out. Savannah makes the call to stab Marti in the back and enjoys the satisfaction of sticking it to her new enemy.
Marti spills the whole story to Coach Vanessa who gives her a pep talk—she’s really good at those. So they offer a “cheer off” between Alice and Marti to see who should fly in the competition. A montage of a whole lot of gyrating and even some flipping and flying later and Marti nails it. Alice is out. So it’s on to Plan B and Alice confronts Savannah with the video online of her cheering for Memphis Christian. Rather than allow Alice to spill the beans to everyone, Marti steps down, saying she has a big ouchy on her ankle. Naturally, Alice gets her way.
Ugh with the pillow fighting
We knew it was only a matter of time before the egregious pillow fighting scene occurred on this show. Marti comes to Savannah’s room to apologize and kiss a little heiny. She explains to Savannah that she’s her best girlfriend. And she’s never had one of those before. After the dullest pillow fight ever, somehow Savannah decides to try to forgive her.
Then Marti suddenly realizes that Savannah is faking her injury. Luckily she’s decided to forgive Marti so she can confide everything to her. And Marti tells her to take her place as a flyer—she can pay her back just a little that way. The routine goes perfectly, despite all of the inner squad conflict. With a score of 98.6 the Lancer Hellcats win it all. They’re headed to Nationals and best of all, it looks like everyone on the team has forgiven Marti, even Lewis. Really?
Unfortunately, Alice’s brother’s football game went into overtime and Pops missed her big moment. All that scheming for nothing! But it gives Alice an opportunity to tell her father how hurtful he can be and how he'll have to make it up to her someday and somehow we still end up liking Alice at the end of the episode. How does she do that to us?
Alice—love her or hate her?
We’ve seen Alice do some heinous things and, sure, she’s an ace beotch, but she consistently shows us that underneath all that scheming, tough chick exterior, the girl does have a heart. So what’s the consensus on Alice? Do we like her or do we want to see her get run over by her own cheer bus? Tell us in the comments!
Hellcats: Aly Michalka on family drama, strained friendships and why Hellcats kick ass
Hellcats is finally back tonight, and to celebrate we got the scoop straight from Aly Michalka! Aly acknowledges that Marti messed up before the break, but she says her character won't be kept down -- and we wouldn't expect anything less from our girl! Plus, she teases some deep dark family drama that's coming up, speculates on what we can expect from the Marti/Dan/Savannah triangle, and tells us why Marti kicks just as much butt as the action heroes on other shows. Check it out!
90210 recap: My New Years' resolution is not to kill anyone with a Bowie knife
"Wait...is that? Is Dixon wearing my bikini bottoms? FOR THE LAST TIME, THEY'RE NOT LUCKY!"
The best thing about a soap-opera-y program like 90210 is that people very often get what they deserve...eventually. Happily enough, we got two instances of comeuppance before we even got our feet wet in that L.A. surf. Still others were denied some TLC, which we hope will be remedied in the future.
Revenge FAIL
We honestly had more faith in Cannon. Not that he would reform or anything crazy like that (we'll save that for season five), but that he was slightly more wily than someone who could be defeated by a manic obsession with female vanity and hairspray. HAIRSPRAY. True, Naomi's escape plan was truly inspired and she really is a natural at taking the reins in a situation, but Cannon managed to evade the LAPD and Scotland Yard. He should be better than this. It still was satisfying to see that sucker get knocked out with a...candle holder, we guess? Anyway, he was bleeding a lot, so: Win.
Read on for homosexuality joke snafus and PR fails!
Revenge success
So not that Adrianna's painful pull through the ringer was a good thing, but if we're being honest, we can't say that she didn't deserve it. We want Victor to be brought back down to earth with righteous fury, but we have to hand it to him for his absolute PR dominance over his ex-client. Because clearly, he's been around the block a few more times than our young Ade and she needs some schooling.
And we would have pitied Ade if she hadn't acted so atrociously. It was mostly her making Mick Jagger lips while practicing her "PSTD" story in the mirror that finally turned us off for good. It was a little low of the host to play "gotcha" journalism with a teenager, but she definitely was right in her assessment of Ade. Now if only Navid would build up some backbone and give her the heave-ho.
Damsel in distress is not your look
Personally, we've always liked Ivy because we relate to her "one of the boys" attitude. She doesn't take crap from anyone, she doesn't shy away from a challenge and she's never late because of an eyelash-curling fiasco. Granted, it's easier to leave the house au naturel with skin and a bone structure like that, but we digress.
Which is why it was so sad to see her give in to the demon of fear. We completely understand. After a particularly gnarly fall at snowboard camp we've never been able to tackle a rainbow rail with confidence, so we know what those misgivings are like. But this is Ivy. Ivy fears nothing, and she certainly wouldn't watch from the sidelines while her team eats it at a meet. We're sure the precise inner workings of her mind will come to the surface soon enough -- Dixon and Ivy shared more significant looks in this episode than these guys. So get over that brush with death, Ivy. We need you back up on the horse, er, surfboard.
Are we really having another Single White Female scare on The CW?
This is what we don't understand about the whole Anne/Liam/Charlie thing: Annie and Charlie were REALLY HAPPY before she suddenly cheated with Liam. They had excellent chemistry and were finally getting past the cutesy, nausea-inducing honeymoon stage, and then Annie was wooed by Matt Lanter's abs or whatever. Sigh. It's been a while since we were 16. In any case, we're glad Charlie and Liam have made up, because Charlie's motives actually seem legitimate and he's a very perceptive character, which is a nice change on this show.
We were also convinced that Annie was lying to Charlie about her cousin "Emily," so much so that were actually shocked when Emily showed up. And oh sweet fried funnel cakes, do we love this girl. She is hysterical. She dresses like a cross between a mall walker and Amy Poehler as Regina George's mom. She uses Ok! magazine to validate life choices. The only problem is she clearly has a penchant for mental instability (is that why her mom is in rehab? As a plot device to make her eventual insanity believable? Because we didn't know Kansas was that much of a hotbed for addiction and disjointed reality. Unless you're Dorothy Gale). We're really hoping the writers won't take the obsessive copycat character with violent tendencies route with Emily, but it's a pretty weak hope indeed.
It's hard to get out of that closet when your idiot friends are sitting in front of the door
Poor Teddy. This coming to terms with his sexuality thing is being thwarted at every turn. Just as he convinces Ian to be understanding, Navid goes and makes everyone feel uncomfortable with his weird flirty comments. Maybe it's just us, but we thought Navid was supposed to be the smart, sensitive one. Guess we pegged that wrong.
The worst came when Dixon confronted Teddy. Sure, Dix seemed a little nervous bringing the subject up, but we think that if Teddy honestly came out at that moment his friend would have found a way to understand. Maybe next week.
What did you guys think? Were you happy with the first episode after the break? Sorry to see Ade get squashed like a bug? Or filled with gleeful schadenfreude? To the comments!
Notes n' Quotes
Ian: This place is like 3000 years old. It's probably the ghost of Betty Davis.
Dixon: Can two guys kiss on the mouth and not be gay?
Navid: Persian guys do. Especially if they're related. It's a cultural thing.
Annie: I'd be freaking out.
Dixon: You freak out over hairless dogs.
Renee: Whether or not you have PSTD is between you and your gynecologist. And Navid.
Emily: I've always wanted to know if those sales people are really as snobby as they were in "Pretty Woman."
Dixon: I'm just glad you didn't die or anything.
Ivy: Thank you, that's probably the nicest thing you've said to me in weeks.
Final Thoughts
Is Abbie Cobb (Emily) related to Jennie Garth? Because they look a LOT alike.
Liam's confused facial expressions upon meeting Emily are reason enough to keep her around.
Once again, god bless Meredith Blake. No one else could play a ruthless L.A. publicist like the evil almost-step mom from "The Parent Trap". Except Katie Cassidy or Jeremy Piven, that is.
"What is it? Something I totally should have seen coming?"
A lot went down on last night's two-hour finale of "Life Unexpected" -- maybe a little too much. Granted, you can't have a two-hour finale that only lasts one hour, but it still seemed a bit squeezed. Plus, we were asked to believe some pretty unbelievable plot twists at the end. But more on that later.
Overprotective much?
Cate is in full-on nesting mode, driving Ryan and Lux crazy with an excess of terrible cooking and smothering. And we don't mean in butter. After the last episode's jarring incidents, Cate is demanding to know exactly where Lux is at all times and is even having Baze chauffeur her to and from school. Enjoy it, kid. It's way better than the bus.
It's time for a reality check
Cate isn't the only one playing Susie Homemaker -- Baze has his sights set on a brand new house of his own, complete with room for Emma to move in. Emma's clearly touched, but becomes hesitant once Lux warns her that the truth will out regarding her affair with Bazile Sr. But when Baze questions her reticence, she fends the blame off on Sam, saying she doesn't want to move too fast for him. This leads to a lot of teenager pandering on Baze's part and finally reassuring Sam that he'll always have a place at the Baze residence.
Read on for all the truly unexpected drama in the series finale after the jump!
You've got some growing-up to do
Despite Daniels' promise that nothing would change after the trial, he stops responding to Lux's texts. When she confronts him about the absence she invites him over for a "date" at Tasha's, and the reluctant Daniels accepts. The leads to some more lies to the parents about her goings-on for the evening, telling Baze that she's spending the night with Cate and reality television.
Meanwhile, Daniels runs into a very stressed-out Cate at the bookstore, who unloads all of her insecurities and feelings of inadequacy on him, because that's what you do with your daughter's teacher. This leads the guilt-tripping Daniels to call off his statutory date and Lux to show up at his door, furious. Unable to see that this a clearly unhealthy situation, Lux delivers a bigger guilt trip and Daniels agrees to meet at Tasha's. Too bad that's a lie and he ends up going to Math's instead. Looks like the honeymoon is over.
Sometimes that overprotective thing is for the best
When Cate tries to track down Lux and finds that Baze doesn't know where she is either, they wheedle the whole sordid truth out of Sam, who mostly wants to show Baze that he appreciates the offer to live with him. So when Lux goes to let Daniels into the little love den she's whipped up at Tasha's, she finds her furious parents instead. After some really terrible lying, the whole motley crew heads back to Baze's bar, where Math and Daniels arrive and presently get introduced to Hurricane Nate. In order to pull her dad off her teacher/boyfriend, Lux unleashes the only weapon she has left: The truth about Gramps Bazile and Emma.
We'd like to take a little moment here to mention the great acting happening on the part of Shaun Sipos and Kristoffer Polaha. Daniels' look of absolute helplessness and self-loathing during his tear-down from Baze was enough to make even the stoniest CW Source heart ache, and we were almost sure Baze was going to spontaneously combust from the concentrated pain he was feeling after his daughter verbally stabbed him in the chest. So, kudos.
After everyone leaves and Lux has her predictable hissy fit, Cate finally has her singular moment of clarity in the entire series, saying that her behavior "proves what a child" she is. THANK YOU, CATE.
All's well that ends well...except when it doesn't
Meanwhile, Emma shows up downstairs to find her boyfriend and her son drinking some brews. Why? Because they both know the truth about Papa Bazile, and one drinks beers when one is upset. Needless to say, Emma gets the heave-ho from a stricken Baze.
Finally, Cate and Baze show up at Daniels' apartment telling him to resign and leave town ASAP, and to never contact their daughter again. He gives them a belated Christmas gift for Lux: A compass so she'll never "lose her way." Like she did by dating a teacher. Awww.
Getting back to normal just isn't in the cards
Back at work after the holiday break, Ryan and Cate learn that Kelly was fired and corporate wants a solo show with Ryan on-air and Cate producing. This means coming up with an entirely new angle and a lot more work. Looks like reading Dr. Spock will have be put on hold.
Say it ain't so, Jack
After kicking Emma to the curb, Baze decides it's high time to have daddy dearest over for a chat. Not only is Jack Bazile unrepentant about his affair with Emma, he tells his son that they loved each other. Naturally, Baze gives his dad his notice at the office.
Poor Baze gets even more fired-up when he gets a call from his mother, who is throwing a birthday party for his unfaithful father. Not only is he unfaithful, he's also a liar: He told Mrs. Basile that he fired Baze. Oops!
There's no good way to deliver bad news, but there's definitely a bad way to deliver bad news
Cate and Ryan head to the doctor to check on the baby's progress, only to learn that Cate had a miscarriage. We're still reeling from the blatant insincerity in the doctor's "I'm sorry." Oh, honey. No, you're not.
Later on, Cate gets a call from the doctor with further devastating news that she won't be able to have children again. Okay, really? That's not something you tell a patient over the phone. That's something you sit them down with a glass of water/tea/hot cocoa/absinthe to hear. Who the hell taught this woman bedside manner?
There's no Skyping in juvie
Lux is longing to talk to someone aside from her parents after the dramafest of Daniels, so she and Jones decide to ditch class and drive to see Tasha at the correctional facility. On the way, however, Jones inadvertently insults Lux by making fun of the still-unknown student that hooked up with Daniels, and she decides to complete the journey on foot. Unfortunately for Lux, the state doesn't bend to her teenage whims when she learns that Tasha had her visitation rights revoked. So that awkward car ride and lonely hike were were pretty much for nothing.
It doesn't help that Cate is all over Lux when she gets home, wondering why she ditched class and disappeared for a few hours. Unaware of Cate's miscarriage, Lux unloads her angsty rage and grinds Cate down into a puddle of tears. Nice.
Sometimes, the apple falls really far from the tree
At Mr. Bazile's birthday bash, Baze gets a served a steaming bowl of fatherly disdain when he continues to badger ol' dad about the affair. This is a tough subject to avoid, since Emma found it prudent to show up to the party. But just as Baze is about to out his father as a cad to a room of friends and his wife, he thinks better of it, and says that a parent has to serve as a model of what to do when they make good decisions, as well as a model of what not to do when they make mistakes. Plus, be probably didn't want to emotionally crush his mother in front of 50 random people.
Afterwards, Baze goes to sulk upstairs and Emma comes calling to apologize. Their flame is still clearly burning, but Baze tells her to scram -- whenever he looks at her all he can see is his father. Guess it's so long, Anya Emma.
Happily ever after! Wait...
Cate finally tells Lux about the baby and the two seem to make up, which we can assume will turn out well now that Cate knows how to act like a mother. Ryan tells her that he just wants her, baby or no, which he also tells the radio brass. Ryan and Cate get their show back, during which they tell each other how much they like to have sex. (Obligatory Man In The Room: No one wants to hear that on the radio!)
Things seem to be on a slow but steady track back to happy town, until Cate sees Julia at the doctor's office -- and she's REALLY pregnant.
Let's save the flash-forwards for "Now & Then," shall we?
It's allegedly "two years later," even though we left our heroes around New Years' and most high school graduations are in the spring (BTW, New Years' typically doesn't come with autumnal foliage, CW. Just a heads-up).
Lux is making a speech to her graduating class, including soon-to-be college classmate Tasha. We're going to assume she's class president and not valedictorian, since she'd basically have had to instantaneously turn her grades around for the latter honor. Everyone is there, including Julia and her baby and some other pregnant woman that seems to be with Baze. After the speech, which is sweet in a really-round-about-because-we-need-to-squeeze-all-the-show's-values-in-in-40-seconds kind of way, everyone gets up to leave. It's here we see that Ryan has jumped ship for Julia, the mother-to-be is Math's partner, and Baze and Cate MAKE OUT.
Okay, Life Unexpected, we get that you had to wrap this thing up quickly. But you had to expect that we would not buy this. We have not had a whiff of Cate-Baze interest in months and we just got that grand-standing speech from Ryan about how he wants Cate more than he wants a family. So, really?
Seeing as this was one long, drama-packed series finale, it's hard to come up with some concrete conclusions, or to think straight, period. What did you guys think? Should the series have ended with the original ending meant for the episode without the epilogue? Did you buy what happens two (and a half) years into the future? Was it just what you hoped for? If not, how would you have ended things? For one last time, to the comments!
Notes n' Quotes
Cate: I'm making French toast.
Ryan: Perfect. The fire alarm will wake me up.
Cate: I want to know where you are all times.
Lux: You know what might be easier? If you install a LoJack system on my butt.
Lux: Go to hell.
Sam: I've missed our little talks.
Cate: Maybe you should go to the store and pick up those child-proofing clips.
Ryan: Ok, I think there's a bar around there.
Baze: It's got one of those showers with the double head situation. ...sorry for the visual.
Baze: Do a little personal web surfing. You gotta clear the browser history, that is your downfall.
Alice: Are you okay?
Cate: Not really, but I had two glasses of wine before you came over...
Rya: I'll give you Louis XIV
Cate: Right, because I want to have sex with someone from before they invented bathing.
Everyone has a friend like 
